I've talked about this around a few places, I had a best friend that I've realized was not a good friend the whole time. Some of you remember when I did two posts about my best friends boyfriend? Here's the links to those two posts, I've left some updated comments on them:
Metalchick: The Difference Between Having and Not Having My GuitarMetalchick: My Best Friend's BoyfriendThat is the friend I'm talking about, her name is Lisa (Not Nabonidus! the Lisa I'm going to be talking about is a different one) I'm using her name to make it easier to tell the story about her. She's not the only one, I've made other bad friends, most of them from McDonald's. My parents have tried to warn me, but I'd never listen until it's too late!
I did type up a story about my friendship with her, quite a story! Almost a book about it. I just deleted 95% of it. You are reading what would've been 5% right now up to this point. It felt good to type up all the things I've felt about our friendship though. I finally got it out! Hopefully now I can stop talking about all the I could've's, I should've's , and the I would've's about everything that had happened while I was friends with Lisa.
Here's a shortened summary about why Lisa wasn't a good friend:
Before Lisa; everything was fine, I was going to college, I wasn't getting the best grades, but at least I was going to school. I was responsible, even though there were times I didn't listen to my parents. I never had to worry about looking over my shoulder for cops or any shady people. I had a few issues, but who doesn't?
Then when Lisa became my friend (and lived with me); I thought she was cool because she was living, but it turns out that she was living in the fast lane. She never went to college, she had a few run ins with the law, and she said wanted to be a cop! yeah, a dirty cop! When I was hanging out with her, I thought I was finally living and having some fun, but it was all an illusion. Some of the things we first did was for fun, but later on I ended up waist deep. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, and on top of that, Lisa and I fought almost everyday. It got bad enough to where she was hitting me and I let her because I thought at the time it would make her feel better. I should also mention that I thought she was helping me come out of my shell, (I used to be shy) and I thought she was helping me stand up to people who were using me. All along, she was the one using me, and she was controlling me. she would tell me not to be afraid to say no to people, yet I felt powerless to say no to her. I did once before and it got really ugly!
Things improved and were at their highest when she lived with her mom, when her boyfriend was in prison, and when we no longer had things that caused drama around us. She also had a good job and finally was starting to pay me back by paying for everything, from restaurants to buying me stuff. Then her boyfriend got released from prison and she threw everything good she had away, from her mom's house to her good paying job, all so she could stay in the Sleazy 8 Motel with her boyfriend, then they move to Pacoima (A city almost as ghetto as South Central LA) After that, it was all downhill from there. (see the links above) Soon I was back to doing things I didn't want to do, such as taking them to a bunch of Wal-marts to shoplift.
I also had to put up with Lisa and her boyfriend's fights, and I had to bite my tongue a few times, especially when her boyfriend says something like "If I need a ride, she better be there!"
My friendship with Lisa was finally starting to unravel when I drove all the way down to her apartment to just hang out and watch a movie, but when I got there, Lisa and her boyfriend got in an argument, so I had to leave! At least they gave me gas money, in aluminum cans! I finally cursed out her boyfriend when I couldn't find a recycling center to get the money I needed. Later on they apologized for making me leave. Later on they called to invite me to come with them to the movies, I told Lisa No and when I was explaining how I felt short changed on gas money, she wasn't even listening to me! She was talking to her boyfriend! One morning when I was getting ready for school, she called me, I told her "I can't talk right now, I'm going to school." and I hung up. She kept calling over and over. I didn't pick up the phone, and it's a good thing I didn't because she was going to yell at me for not saying "Goodbye" She just wanted to give me her new number. I took it when she called back later, then I lost it. Then when she called me the very last time, I asked for her to give me her new number again because I lost it. My friendship was unraveling, but there was still a little thread holding on.
After Lisa; Everything was fine again, things completely returned to normal. I was back in school, but this time I had better grades. I became responsible again, I listen to my parents because now I know that they were right about what they have told me all along. I no longer have to look over my shoulder for cops and shady people. I still have issues, but not as many as before, who doesn't have issues? You just learn how to deal with them, even if you have to learn the hard way. Now that things are better, I realized how miserable I really was being friends with Lisa, so now I have let go of that single thread that was holding on to my friendship with Lisa. I purposely lost her number, she hasn't called me for a while, hopefully she has gotten the hint, or she thinks I'm still in school. When she does call, I will tell her I no longer want to be her friend and to never call again. I am now another friend that has left her,
she will always be alone! She has pushed people away because of the way she is, and that is, she is not a people person! I feel sorry for the next person that becomes her friend.
I've been through so much hell, that now I think I can get through anything. I really hope I don't make the same mistakes again. My friendship with Lisa was the third time I made the wrong friend.
I've only met a few of you, but I know that a majority of you are very cool and for real. I haven't seen a blogger who was lying about who they are, except for the ones who do it on purpose to entertain us, you know who you are!
This post still got long, but at least it's shorter than the first rough draft I typed up earlier.